Archive

2017

Elegance

It's hard for her to feel comfortable doing that with how busy I always am, she tells me, but I'm driven by caring for her present right now... Will being driven for our future give either of us a noticeable change in how we interact with each other? Read full post

Elust #92

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Read full post

Supporting from the Front

And this is a huge part of our lives. Perhaps even the largest. I make the big decisions, I have the big responsibility, and I'm held accountable for all of it from her. I drag Eiren behind me like the servent of some regal Queen because, well, the Queen doesn't pull herself. Read full post

I hate the 'One Size Fits All' approach

Fuck, the point I want to get to in this post is this: If you assume that one size fits all for every single relationship, about every single part of it, you're just living in the wrong. Relationships are a fluid, changing environment. What works for some people will never work for others and vice-versa. Read full post

Relationship In Peril, Part 3: Being Stronger

She never thought I'd be the person to say any of this to her. Well, it turns out I am, and once it did she expected that I'd turn into the type of person who'd want to be away from her. Well, it turns out that I'm not. Read full post

Relationship In Peril, Part 2: Why

At the heart of all of this, though, right smack in the middle of the good and bad questions that I was asking myself, that I was asking other people... was a simple, a small, and an alone "Why?" Read full post

Relationship In Peril, Part 1: No One Worse

Now, I'll spare you the sudden horror that overcame Eiren. I'll spare you the utter, abject pain that shot through Eiren's mind the moment this sentence left my throat, to my lips, to her ears, and say this instead: There is no one worse than me in this moment. Read full post

2016

Elust #89

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Read full post

Wires, Boxes, and Order

I believe that the shared feeling of satisfaction from giving and receiving a level of order is directly connected to how we think and live our lives. Read full post

Disabilities & Submission, Part 2: I Say No

My most important function in our relationship isn't my ability for compassion, it isn't my trying to wake up a little earlier each day to bring her coffee, and it especially isn't my ability to make her happy. It's my ability to say "No, Eiren." Read full post

How bloggers changed my life

All of them, in their own special way, changed the way I was living my life and helped me develop myself into who I am now. Read full post

Shattering Fire

I just don't know what path I'm going to take right now. I have options, so many options, but they're all dependent on so many things. Read full post

Elust #83

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Read full post

Lose yourself to the music

I've never felt more submissive to her than I do right now in my life, doing the things that I fundamentally feel aren't submissive at all, because it has allowed me to feel like I'm taking her needs into consideration before mine. Read full post

Dirty Little Secrets

For all Eiren knew, I was an established, well paid, attractive, moderately intelligent 22 year old who spoke sweet things to her and - for the first time in her life - made her feel genuinely happy. Read full post

Elust #82

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Read full post

The whole person approach to Submission

When I talk about the things in my life that aren't outwardly about my views of dominance & submission, rest assuredly that they absolutely are. Read full post

I am an argonaut

First and before everything else in my life, I'm an adventurer and I've always been one. Through every aspect of my life, I've been on a quest of some sort. Read full post

Atychiphobia

I'm so afraid of failing, of not being good enough for the people I love and care for. Read full post

2015

Hiding behind a mask

Because for her, it was just another mask and it was comfortable and she was sure that there was no real difference between the one on her face, and the one on the net. Read full post

Alone in my room

I could hear her now. I could hear her labored breathing and heavy snoring, I wanted to call out and wake her, but I didn't. Read full post

Disabilities & Submission, Part 1: Fixing

If I were to tell you that her life was a mess before I actually moved in with her, I'd be grossly understating the situation. At the same time, though, if I were to tell you that she was completely willing to change her life around when I started trying to make changes, I'd be a fucking liar. Read full post

Your wounds don't make you any less beautiful

Your wounds don't make you any less beautiful, but they will make you stronger... Read full post

How I met Berkson

A podcast by Eiren, transcribed by Berkson for clarity and accuracy. Read full post

Dominant Directed Diary, Part 1: Love

I didn't think I'd get in arguments or fight about things that don't matter, I felt that I'd just do what I was told without complaint and never question what I was told to do, and we'd have kinky sex and die. Read full post

I lit my hair on fire

Truthfully, I wish I could feel comfortable getting drunk. I wish the thought didn't terrify me, or that I could be a more social drinker, but I guess it's just another area of my life that seperates me from feeling like I'm not awkward or strange. Read full post

People I know scare me

I feel as if my very presence is cruelly imposing on your life. I’m not worth being your friend, and my opinion doesn’t matter. Read full post