Busy & Boring sums up the last two months of my life pretty well. I’ve harped on about being nearly done with this job for a while now, but now that it’s actually starting to unwind it’s just all happening so damn fast.
I’m starting to turn over my work to someone new, and I’m doing what I can to improve the processes used by various divisions attached to my organization with how they turn in aircraft components. This is an issue because, as you can imagine, when people are busy they tend to care more about the “work” than they do about the “accountability”, and telling Mx. Smith that they need to find the component that they misplaced or they’re liable for somewhere in the six figure range isn’t ideal or, really, a good way of doing business.
It’s boring work, but it’s already paid dividends here, and the cool thing about what I’m doing is that a lot of it allows me to find previously lost or still missing assets. I’m all about this kind of thing.
There is just so much going on now though. Work alone isn’t always busy, but the planning that I have to do for my personal life is threatening to suffocate me. Planning for taking a class this next semester which will earn me an associate degree, planning for going back to school full-time in the Spring, dealing with immigration for a few different places of which the certainty for usefulness or timeliness doesn’t really exist in the first place, baby dog needing surgery on her jaw, and, like I mentioned, not being employed anymore.
That’s the hardest one really. I am a good worker and a valuable employee. I make good money, I have good health care attached to the job for me AND Eiren, but I want to do something else with my life and it’s terrifying to think that a future employer will see my sudden break in employment, even if it’s to go to school, and think “Why would I hire this monkey if I could just hire someone young who doesn’t expect as much?”
This says nothing about the more immediate fear that every dollar I’m spending now is a dollar out of my future. I have the money saved up for school and I’m ready to go it almost debt free, but I am scared about not keeping the same quality of life for Eiren.
Ugh, I’m certainly not the first person to have these thoughts, I know that. My life is always improving because I have the drive and determination to make it so, and this is no exception. I’m glad that I have the sense to worry though, even when I know that things will be okay for everybody.