Conviction

I’ve done a lot of things for the greater good in my life.  I can remember getting on a plane at eighteen with just a back pack to go meet Eiren, a woman who’d just found out that I’d been lying to her about my age for two years.

We don’t often think about the consequences that our actions might incur until it’s too late and too little can be done to prevent them, but sometimes our mistakes teach us valuable life lessons.  Lying to her almost cost me the two years of relationship building that we had together, a best friend, a girlfriend, and a Mistress, and if not for the fact that I had truly learned my lesson, I’d have a completely different life now.

That lesson helped propel my life into many things that weren’t even in the scope of what I could consider when I learned it, but it’s importance can’t be understated.  It’s been, to say very little, an wild ride and part of the foundation that I’ve used to build myself as an adult.

With all of this said, I’m still endlessly surprised that I’m continuously underestimated by the people who’ve known me the longest, my family.

Every time I make a choice, every time I know what’s best for myself, every time I set boundaries, every decision I make… Is the wrong one.  I’m the black sheep and, even in the best of circumstances, inconsequential until my livelihood is an inconvenience.

Berkson married a fat woman.

I married my best friend and the love of my life.

You’ll never be able to accomplish this goal.

I did it without your help and by myself.

Do you need me to help you get rid of your “problem”?

Eiren isn’t a problem, Dad.  Are you trying to get rid of yourself?

He’ll always be my little boy.  Are you sure that this isn’t just a phase?

It isn’t a phase, and your little girls name is Evelyn.

Did Eiren talk you into doing this?

The lesson I learned was to always do things that I truly feel are the right decision and to always do them to be honest with Eiren and myself.   I’m not infallible, but every decision I make isn’t wrong, despite what I’ve been told so often.

I have to live my life understanding that my actions have consequences, that honesty is always the best policy, that I’ll make mistakes, but most importantly, that it’s my life and the only person who can dictate it is Eiren.

Consequences sometimes hold lessons, honesty creates love, mistakes happen, and life goes on.

Wicked Wednesday

One Reply to “Conviction”

  1. It sometimes irritates everything out of me when people – even close family like a mom or a dad – think they are ‘allowed’ to judge our choices in life, not knowing the full story behind it. Like you, I have for many years felt like the black sheep of the family because I did everything differently from the rest, but nowadays I own the fact that I am the rebel 🙂

    A warmhearted welcome to Wicked Wednesday!

    Rebel xox

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