I’ve needed this.

Today was an intensely special day for me.

Work was only a half day, so when I surprised Eiren with my being home for the rest of the afternoon, she had plans to give me something special… a beating!

It wasn’t for any indiscretion I committed against her, it wasn’t for some slight somewhere else in our world, it was just because she wanted to hit me, and I suppose she felt this way because, for so many years, we’ve been afraid to really play hard after playing too rough caused us to hurt me more than I was ready to deal with at that point in my life. Coupled with how unsafe and uneducated we were at the time, the recipe for disaster turned into an unsavory meal that left me scared and her traumatized for years.

And so, I was to be hurt. She let me know that there wasn’t going to be a warmup, and she let me know that when it wasn’t hurting so bad in one spot anymore, she would be moving… that my course for today was to suffer for her.

And, wow, let me tell you… it fucking hurt and I loved it.

I actually loved it!

That is so important for me to say, since I’ve always craved pain and envied people who could take it. She was beating me until her hand stung, with my hands tied behind my back and legs scissored between her own, and my whining and begging and yelling wasn’t heeded, but that isn’t to say that safety wasn’t the most important thing here: She stopped multiple times to quiz me on my safe words, on their meaning, and had me practice them whenever she needed to rest her hands. If I didn’t say it loud enough for her, I’d have to repeat it until she was satisfied.

When we finished, I was rewarded with an even better present: helplessness!

Already feeling amazing from all of the endorphins running through me after she stopped, we moved to a position with me sitting on one of her legs with her other pinning me between them. Her left hand pulled down hard on the binds that held my hands and the other found it’s way to my… Or, should I say, her cock.

Wow. There aren’t any other words to really describe how this made me feel, truly, because I’ve never felt truly powerless when in any type of bondage. Cling wrap, rope, straps, and cuffs… This position that we found actually made me vulnerable to her, and best of all, completely at her mercy.

Of which there was absolutely, positively none.

And I’ve needed this. I write this to you as someone who feels that they’ve just been introduced to the world’s best drug, I’ve always needed this from Eiren.

The confidence she had when she hit me, the happiness she had when she tortured me, the sadism she had when she forced my head down to again clean up every drop of liquid that she allowed to escape from my body, and the smile that painted a masterpiece across her beautiful face.

I’ve needed this, I’ve needed this all of my life, but most importantly, I’ve always needed this from her.

And I think she’s just getting started.

Posted by Evelyn

Submissive woman in my mid-20s. Writer, engineer, explorer. Transgender (she/her). Happily owned and married to my Mistress Eiren.

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